How to Tell Your Loved Ones You Are Choosing to Become a Surrogate

Becoming a surrogate is a noble and selfless decision that requires careful consideration and support from loved ones. The decision to become a surrogate may be a deeply personal one, and sharing it with family and friends can be challenging. However, it is essential to have open and honest communication with your loved ones to ensure that you have the emotional support you need throughout the process. Here are some tips on how to tell your loved ones that you are choosing to become a surrogate.

Educate yourself about surrogacy

Before having a conversation with your loved ones, it is crucial to educate yourself about surrogacy. Learn about the surrogacy process, what it entails, and the legal and emotional implications. This knowledge will help you answer any questions your loved ones may have and give them a better understanding of your decision.

Choose the right time and place

It is essential to choose the right time and place to talk to your loved ones about your decision to become a surrogate. Choose a time when you and your loved ones are relaxed and have enough time to have a meaningful conversation. Make sure you are in a private and comfortable setting where you can express your thoughts and feelings without any interruptions.

Some surrogates may choose to tell only a small circle of their closest support people at first and wait to tell others until they have officially matched with a couple or individual. There is no wrong way to do it. Each person and situation is unique!

Explain your decision

When you start the conversation, explain your decision to become a surrogate. Let your loved ones know why you decided to become a surrogate and what it means to you. Share your thoughts and feelings, and be honest about your expectations and concerns. Explain that becoming a surrogate is a personal choice that you have made, and you hope that they will support you.

Be prepared for different reactions

Your loved ones may have different reactions to your decision to become a surrogate. Some may be supportive, while others may have reservations or concerns. Be prepared to answer questions and address any fears or doubts your loved ones may have. Listen to their concerns and acknowledge their feelings while expressing your own. Try to have an open and honest conversation where you can address any issues and find ways to move forward together.

Don’t forget that there are several online support groups that may help you cope with some reactions.  Reputable agencies typically offer support groups and online forums where you can be heard and supported.

Provide resources and support

Offer to provide resources and support to your loved ones if they need it. You can offer to provide them with information about surrogacy or direct them to reputable sources. Let them know that you are available to answer any questions they may have and that you value their opinions and support.

Agencies like Elevate always offer to speak and educate family members or spouses that may have questions regarding the surrogacy process. Most reservations come from concern for the surrogate candidate. Having the opportunity to speak to a surrogacy professional can help ease fears that some may have.

Telling your loved ones that you are choosing to become a surrogate can be challenging, but it is essential to have open and honest communication to ensure that you have the emotional support you need throughout the process. Educate yourself about surrogacy, choose the right time and place, explain your decision, be prepared for different reactions, and provide resources and support. With the right approach, you can have a meaningful conversation that strengthens your relationships and provides you with the support you need.  For information or support regarding the surrogacy process, please contact us at


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