Navigating the Surrogacy Journey: What Every Surrogate Should Know

Becoming a surrogate is a powerful decision.
From screening and emotional support to building a relationship with intended parents, here’s how to navigate the surrogacy journey with clarity, care, and confidence.

Surrogacy is a life-changing journey—for both the surrogate and the intended parents. For many, it’s a profound experience grounded in generosity, connection, and the shared dream of building a family. While the process is deeply fulfilling, it also brings unique challenges. Whether you’re considering becoming a surrogate or are just beginning the process, understanding each phase of the journey can help you feel informed, supported, and empowered.

Understanding the Surrogacy Process

The decision to become a surrogate is a powerful one. It requires thoughtfulness, emotional readiness, and a clear understanding of what’s involved. At Elevate, we support gestational surrogacy, in which the surrogate is not biologically related to the child.

The process typically includes:

• A comprehensive screening to ensure physical and emotional readiness
• Legal contracts that protect everyone involved
• Medical preparation, including hormone treatments and embryo transfer
• Pregnancy monitoring and a well-supported birth plan

The entire journey, from initial screening to delivery, can span more than a year. Having a dedicated agency to guide you through each step ensures that your needs are met, and your voice is heard. Explore surrogate requirements here and compensation details here.

Emotional and Physical Challenges

While surrogacy is often described as one of the most rewarding experiences of a lifetime, it also comes with emotional and physical demands.

Surrogates may experience:

• Complex emotions related to carrying a child for someone else
• Hormonal shifts or physical discomfort during pregnancy
• Moments of uncertainty, attachment, or emotional fatigue

These feelings are completely normal. What matters most is having access to a trusted support network—whether that includes family, a partner, counselors, or fellow surrogates.

Physically, surrogates experience the natural demands of pregnancy, from fatigue to morning sickness. Maintaining open communication with your care team and practicing consistent self-care helps ensure you’re physically and emotionally supported throughout the experience.

Navigating Social and Family Dynamics

Surrogacy can also impact your relationships outside the journey itself. You may have conversations with children, family members, or friends who are curious, or unsure, about your decision. Some may have misconceptions about surrogacy, while others may struggle to understand the emotional nuances involved.

Here’s how to navigate these moments with clarity:

• Be honest and clear with your family about why you chose surrogacy
• Set boundaries with loved ones who may not understand or support your decision
• Ask for support when you need it, and lean on your agency’s resources for guidance

At Elevate, we encourage surrogates to have open, ongoing conversations with those closest to them, and to connect with others who’ve walked this path before.

Preparing for Birth and Life After Delivery

As delivery approaches, conversations shift toward birth plans and post-birth expectations. Every surrogate has personal preferences regarding delivery methods, who is present in the room, or time spent with the baby afterward.

These preferences should be discussed well in advance and with transparency. Questions to consider:

• How do I envision the delivery experience?
• What kind of support do I want in the delivery room?
• Would I like time with the baby post-birth?

Equally important is planning for your recovery, both physical and emotional. Make space for rest, reflection, and healing, and know that Elevate’s support continues long after delivery.

Navigating the Unexpected

Even with thoughtful planning, every pregnancy brings moments of unpredictability. Surrogacy is no different. Whether it’s a medical complication, an emotional moment, or a shift in expectations, having a strong support system in place makes all the difference.

In the event of the unexpected:

• Communicate openly with your care team and agency
• Lean on the support systems already in place
• Know that you are not alone—Elevate is here to advocate for your health and well-being

Flexibility and collaboration between surrogates, intended parents, and medical professionals are essential when managing change with compassion.

Building a Relationship With Intended Parents

One of the most meaningful parts of the surrogacy journey is the relationship you build with the intended parents. At Elevate, we carefully match surrogates with families whose values and preferences align, laying the foundation for mutual respect and support.

Ways to foster a strong relationship:

• Maintain regular communication
• Set boundaries early and revisit them as needed
• Share milestones, celebrate together, and support one another

Some surrogate–intended parent relationships grow into lasting friendships. Others remain warm and respectful without ongoing contact. What matters most is establishing shared expectations and honoring one another throughout the journey.

Surrogacy is a remarkable act of selflessness, strength, and compassion. It requires more than a physical commitment—it asks for emotional presence, resilience, and a heart for others.

By approaching the experience with intention, staying grounded in your “why,” and building a strong support network, you can navigate the surrogacy journey with confidence and grace.

At Elevate, we’re honored to walk alongside you, every step of the way.