If you’re reading this, you’re probably considering egg donation to get the family you’ve always dreamed of.
While egg donation may not be the traditional way to get a baby, it does offer the highest success rates of any infertility treatments.
How to get a Family Created by Egg Donation
So congratulations! You’re on your way to growing your family! Here are a few tips we have on how to start the egg donor selection process.
Take Your Time
For most couples, the thought of having to use an egg donor to conceive a child can feel overwhelming and devastating. As parents, we want our children to be genetically connected to us. It’s okay if it takes time to process all the feelings that come with the decision to use an egg donor.
Go ahead and feel all the feels. Take all the time you need to process your emotions. Parents can experience everything from grief to disappointment as they wrestle with the decision to use an egg donor. But we’re confident that as we walk you through the egg donor selection process, those feelings will eventually change to feelings of optimism and excitement.
This is a big decision, and emotions will be high. Take all the time you need, and we’ll be here to help you through every step of the process.
Decide What's Important
Most egg donation agencies have databases filled with beautiful, smart, capable women who are willing to donate their eggs to a family in need.
How do you decide which egg donor to use?
Our advice is to make a list of the essential qualities you want your donor to have. Here are a few questions to consider when choosing your egg donor:
Everyone wants beautiful children. But even the most beautiful women in the world may not make suitable egg donors. So instead of focusing on finding a supermodel turned egg donor, choose a few physical traits that you want your child to have.
Do you want your child to have a particular skin/hair/eye color? Look for that in a donor. What about height? Are you looking for a future volleyball player? Maybe find a donor who is tall and has some athletic ability.
Remember, egg donors are human. Therefore, they are not perfect. All humans have some flaws. That’s why we suggest looking for a donor who looks like they could fit in your family instead of a physically perfect donor.
The sound of a Harvard graduate sounds nice, but is it really necessary? For some families, academics are critical, but for others, it’s not. Some families prefer their time traveling or being active together.
Find a donor who you think you’d want to spend time with. Is she interested in the same kind of things that you are? Does she seem exciting and intriguing? What are her hobbies and talents? Many parents look for musically inclined donors or donors who like to spend time in the outdoors.
These traits are often more important than the ivy league school she’s attending.
Of all the questions to consider, medical history is the most important. We want to give your child the best chance at being healthy. If you have a history of cancer, you may not want to choose a donor who has cancer in her family’s medical history.
Also, look for any history of allergies, heart issues, or addictions.
We will run a full genetic screening once the donor has been chosen. This will give you a better idea of any genetic conditions that could be passed onto your child.
Anonymous Vs. Known
Another decision that parents have to make is whether they want to know their donor personally.
All names and contact information are kept anonymous unless both parties agree to exchange information. We do this to protect everyone involved.
Some parents and donors wish to remain anonymous and have no contact with each other at all. This allows for privacy and keeps the arrangement between the parents and the egg donor tightly closed.
Other donors may offer their name so the child can look for additional information about them in the future.
Other parents and egg donors choose to have an open relationship. This type of arrangement allows the parents to send pictures of the child to the egg donor and will leave the door open for additional contact in the future.
There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to the relationship with the egg donor. And no matter what you choose, every egg donation comes with legal documents that clearly outlines the rights of both the parents and the egg donor.
Every couple needs to decide what works best for them and their family.