How to Explain Surrogacy to Your Child

Many surrogate mothers are already raising children of their own. While the concept of being a surrogate for intended parents is exciting for you, it may be confusing for your child. That is why it is important to have steps in place to explain surrogacy to your child in a way that will help them understand and accept the journey you are on.

Elevate Baby is a surrogacy agency that helps surrogate mothers throughout the course of their journey. After a surrogate mother becomes pregnant, it is not uncommon for their own children to become confused about whether this new life will become a part of their family. It is best to approach these conversations with your child in an age-appropriate and positive way that will help them understand all they need to know about your surrogacy journey.

Guidelines For Explaining Surrogacy to Your Child

Surrogacy is a big topic to breach with children. However, as a mother and surrogate mother, it is necessary that you ensure your child understands the journey you are on to help intended parents build a family. 

Surrogates should continue to talk with their children openly and honestly about surrogacy throughout the journey. This should not be a one-time conversation, but an ongoing dialogue to ensure your child understands and feels comfortable asking questions. When explaining surrogacy to your child, the following tips can help ensure that the conversation is positive for both you and your child:

  • Keep the Conversation Age-Appropriate: While it is important that you honestly explain the surrogacy journey, you do not want to overwhelm your children with information. To avoid confusing them, use simple language that is easy for your children to understand. For very young children, you may explain that babies need a safe place to grow before they are born, and that some intended parents are unable to have babies on their own.
  • Encourage Questions: You should create an environment for two-way communication to happen during your surrogacy conversations. Your children should feel comfortable asking questions. In return, you should be open and listen to their thoughts and feelings on the subject. 
  • Keep the Energy Positive and Excited: Children are often open-minded and tend to model their parents’ attitudes and behaviors in situations. If you explain surrogacy as something positive and exciting, they will likely see it that way as well. As a result, it will likely become something they can be proud of.
  • Make Sure You Are Reassuring: Some children may struggle to understand that the child you are carrying is not going to join your family. They may struggle with this concept and worry that they too will have to go live with another family. It is crucial that you assure your children that you love them and will continue to take care of them no matter what. 
  • Introduce your children to your Intended Parents: Allowing your children to meet and know your intended parents helps them better understand the process.  This simple act goes a long way in explaining surrogacy and how you are helping another family.

For more information on how to breach the subject of surrogacy with your child, reach out to the surrogacy team at Elevate Baby today.

Get Help With Your Surrogacy Journey From Elevate Baby Today

At Elevate Baby, we are proud to offer support to our surrogate mothers throughout each step of their journeys. Whether you are looking for advice on how to discuss surrogacy with your child or you are at the beginning phases of your own surrogacy journey, Elevate Baby can help.

We will go above and beyond to make sure you feel supported and confident moving forward with your surrogacy journey. For more information on the surrogacy process and how we can help match you with intended parents, contact us today by calling (323) 933-8918 or filling out our contact form. With years of experience working in assisted reproduction, we treat all intended parents and surrogates with the same concierge-level service to ensure successful and joyful journeys.


This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.