The Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents: What to Expect and What’s Required

QUICK ANSWER: Yes, intended parents are screened before working with a surrogacy agency. The process typically includes a detailed application, background checks for all household members, a consultation to align on goals and expectations, verification of financial readiness, and a psychological evaluation. There are no universal age or medical requirements for intended parents, but agencies and IVF clinics may have their own guidelines. Legal contracts that protect all parties are required before any medical procedure begins.

Intended parents often come to surrogacy having already spent years navigating fertility treatments, losses, and decisions that most people never have to make. By the time they reach out to an agency, the question they most often ask is: “What do we need to do to get started?”

This guide answers that question completely: what the requirements are, why each step exists, what to expect at each stage, and how to prepare so the process moves forward as smoothly as possible.

What Is an Intended Parent?

An intended parent is a person or couple who uses a gestational surrogate, and often an egg donor, to have a child. The intended parents are the legal parents of the child from the moment of birth (and in many states, before birth through a pre-birth order). They may or may not have a genetic connection to the child, depending on whether donor eggs or sperm are used.

Gestational surrogacy is the arrangement in which a surrogate carries a pregnancy on behalf of intended parents. The surrogate has no genetic relationship to the child. This is distinct from traditional surrogacy, in which the surrogate contributes her own eggs, an arrangement that is far less common today and carries significantly more legal complexity.

Do Intended Parents Have to Meet Requirements?

Yes. Reputable surrogacy agencies screen intended parents as thoroughly as they screen surrogates and egg donors. This screening exists to protect the surrogate, the egg donor, and the child. It also ensures that every match is built on a foundation of genuine readiness and shared expectations.

There are no federal legal requirements for intended parents in the United States, but agencies, IVF clinics, and state laws each impose their own standards. What follows is what you can generally expect across reputable agencies.

The Standard Intended Parent Process

Step 1: The Application

The process begins with a detailed application covering your family and social history, your reasons for pursuing surrogacy, your previous fertility history (including any prior IVF cycles, miscarriages, or surrogacy arrangements), and your goals for the process.

The application is designed to help the agency better understand you and your family. Agencies use this information to determine which type of surrogacy arrangement best fits your situation, what to look for in a surrogate match, and what level of support you’re likely to need throughout the process.

Step 2: Initial Consultation

After reviewing the application, the agency will schedule a consultation, typically a phone call or video meeting, to discuss your goals in detail. At Elevate Baby, this conversation covers:

• Your estimated timeline and budget
• The qualities and characteristics you’re looking for in a surrogate
• The level of contact and relationship you’d like to have with your surrogate during the pregnancy
• Whether you’ll be using your own embryos, donor eggs, or donor sperm
• Your state of residence and any relevant legal considerations
• How you plan to discuss your child’s conception with them as they grow

This consultation is one of the most important steps in the process. The clearer your expectations going in, the more effectively the agency can match you.

Step 3: Background Checks

All reputable agencies conduct criminal background checks on intended parents and any adult members of their household. The purpose is straightforward: to confirm that the child will be entering a safe environment.

Agencies will not proceed with intended parents who have convictions involving harm to a child, domestic violence, or sexual offenses. Other criminal history is evaluated on a case-by-case basis depending on the nature and recency of the offense.

Background checks are not punitive, but they are a standard safeguard that protects the surrogate, the donor, and the child. 

Step 4: Financial Verification

Surrogacy in the United States is a significant financial commitment. Total costs, including agency fees, IVF and medical expenses, legal fees, surrogate compensation, and related costs, typically range from $100,000 to $180,000 or more, depending on the complexity of the arrangement and location.

Agencies generally require intended parents to demonstrate financial readiness before matching begins. This does not mean you must have the full amount in cash. Many intended parents use a combination of savings, fertility financing, home equity, and other resources. What it does mean is that you need a realistic, funded plan before you begin the medical process.

This step protects everyone involved. A surrogate who becomes pregnant should not be in a position where the intended parents cannot cover her medical care or compensation. Agencies take this seriously.

Step 5: Psychological Evaluation

Most agencies require intended parents to complete a psychological evaluation with a licensed mental health professional who specializes in third-party reproduction. This evaluation is a structured conversation designed to assess whether you’ve processed the emotional dimensions of your journey.

Common areas covered include: any unresolved grief related to infertility or pregnancy loss, expectations about the surrogate relationship and her role after delivery, how you plan to talk with your child about their conception, and your support systems throughout the process.

Intended parents who have experienced significant fertility-related losses often find the psychological consultation genuinely helpful as a space to articulate things they haven’t had language for before.

Step 6: Legal Contracts

Before any medical process begins, all parties must execute a gestational surrogacy agreement drafted by a reproductive attorney. This contract establishes the intended parents’ parental rights, the surrogate’s rights and responsibilities, the compensation structure, expectations regarding the pregnancy and delivery, and what happens in a range of contingencies.

In states with clear surrogacy statutes (California, Nevada, Washington, and others), intended parents can typically obtain a pre-birth order establishing their legal parentage before the child is born. In states with less clear law, the process may differ. Working with a reproductive attorney is essential.

The legal step is not optional and cannot be expedited by mutual trust. It protects you, your surrogate, and your child.

Where No Requirements Exist

It’s worth being clear about what is not required, because this surprises many intended parents:

• There is no universal age cutoff for intended parents in the United States, though some IVF clinics have their own guidelines. 
• There is no requirement that intended parents be married, in a relationship, or of any particular sexual orientation.
  • Single intended parents regularly and successfully work with surrogates and egg donors. 
• There is no requirement that intended parents have a diagnosed medical reason for using surrogacy, though medical circumstances are often part of the picture

Surrogacy is a legal, medically established path to parenthood for anyone who meets the practical requirements of readiness: emotional, financial, and relational.

Frequently Asked Questions

Ready to Become an Intended Parent?

If you’re exploring surrogacy as a path to parenthood, the first step is simply a conversation. Elevate Baby’s team includes people who have been through this process themselves, and we’ll give you the full picture, not just the easy parts.

Contact our team or explore the ways intended parents can turn dreams into family.